Meditation

A friend invited me to a guided meditation class. The instructor told us to visualize someone suffering, then visualize ourselves alleviating that suffering. I saw a group of men leading dogs to a fighting ring. Then Jesus, Gandhi, Pamela Anderson and I took them by surprise. Jesus created a diversion while Gandhi whipped out his nunchuks and nailed each man in both kneecaps. Then Pamela called the dogs. They all came to her and started to growl at each other for a second but they were instantly calmed when she blew them all kisses. She lead the dogs outside to a Hummer that ran on recycled vegetable oil and then Jesus, Gandhi and I took out filet knives and cut out the entrails of the men who ran the fighting ring. They were still barely conscious so Gandhi covered them with gasoline and I threw down a match as we all ran out to the car where we shared a big tofu stir fry with Pamela and the dogs, and the dogs told us about their plans to channel their competitiveness into poker and donate all of their winnings to charity. This was probably not what the instructor had in mind, but I sure enjoyed it.